Thursday, January 17, 2008

Sorrow and Joy

My Gorgeous Boy-My Joy!

Isn't it amazing that through the darkest days there is always light streaming through the clouds. My children are that light. Though my faith in many things has wavered a bit lately, I know it is just the grief talking. My children are the most amazing miracles. I soak up their love and it just fills my heart until it over flows! I am living a life that I honestly never in a million years thought I would be so blessed to live. So I hold onto that right now, and keep reminding myself how very very far I have come!

I am at such a strange place in my life. I feel almost like I am in limbo. I "know" I should just feel contentment with my life and all that I have been blessed with, but I feel restless! Logically-I KNOW I should just move on, be content, and stop tempting fate. I KNOW I should focus on the journey and not the destination. I should be PRESENT and focus on what I have NOW-not what I think I want for the future. Yet, my heart is longing for another child and yearning to add to our beautiful family. I know how amazing being pregnant is, and I LOVE being a Mom more than anything else in this world, so it just seems natural for me to want to do it all again. LOGIC or heart usually wins! I have an appt with a new gyno next week. I am praying he will be compassionate, unlike my current Doctor. I am praying he will help find answers as to why I now have two angels. Please pray for us!

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