Bokeh-fall spider

Took this pic with my good old point and shoot that is on the fritz. I am in need of a new camera and hoping to get a Nikon SLR-but boy are they expensive. My current camera has served me well, but is now making a funky pink line on pics if I use the flash. I figure with the amount of pics I take daily, the Nikon will pay for itself in no time. Check out the colors on the spider. Sure is a pretty little girl-for a spider that is.

Restless

I feel so restless. I need to get something done, anything done. I have this burning desire to take just one thing to completion. Laundry, reorganizing, just one thing DONE! Finding it very difficult with three kids under foot all day to get even the simplest tasks completed. Sadly when I do have a few free moments, I don't feel like doing anything. Makes NO sense, I know.

Busy

Life has been so busy. At some point I hope it slows down just a tiny bit so I can just catch up with it all. El is in Kinder now and this has been such a big life change for all of us. She is slowly adjusting, but with lot's of tears along the way. Ev started Preschool today. He is happy as a clam and would go everyday if he could. My baby love is crawling and getting into everything. What is it that makes babies gravitate towards fireplaces, wires and outlets? I still can't wrap my head around the fact that he is here! At night when I walk down the hall and check three bedrooms on my three sleeping children, it still takes my breath away. How blessed I am and what a journey it has been.

Baby Love...

Jayce turns 5 months old tomorrow.  The fastest 5 months of my life.  I am so thankful that this time around I have this amazing appreciation for the gift that is my baby.  I am able to savor and enjoy each moment on a level I have never known.  I feel so connected to him and fall deeper and love with each passing day.  He is my miracle! 

It's as if I have known you all my life...

January 12th, 2009 @ 12:11pm-our miracle was born! Jayce is 6lbs 80z's of perfection!

I can't explain the feeling very well, except to say that it feels as if I have known him all my life. There is something sooo familiar about him, so peaceful and natural. I think I have memorized every little crease in his skin. I am able to drink in every single moment of him being here, we have waited soo soo soo long for him! The journey has made the destination more amazing than I have ever experienced! AT LAST...peace floods my heart and I feel complete!!!

33wks and 3 to go!

I just can't believe I am already 33wks pregnant. In fact, I still can't quite believe I am pregnant at all. My heart and mind are still working overtime to protect me. I have almost been in total denial this pregnany that I am actually having a baby. It just shows you how devestating loss can be.

I have complete placenta previa. I was in the hospital for a few days due to bleeding and ptl. I am home now on bedrest. Let's just say bedrest is near impossible when you have a 4 1/2 yr old and a 2 1/2yr old. I have had sitter here daily but still still find myself doing things I am not supposed to be doing. We have scheduled my c-section for January 12th. Hopefully I can stay out of the hospital until then!

Kids are super excited for Christmas tomorow, and soooo am I. I get more excited now then I did as a child I think. There is just nothing better in the world than watching the pure joy on their faces. I can't wait for them to open all their presents :)

Happy Holidays to anyone that stumbles on this blog. Have a safe and healthy New Year!!!

24wks pregnant

I have been avoiding my own blog. Isn't that strange? I keep thinking that if I write the words, it will all be taken away again. I need to let go of all my silly superstitions, and just share this journey. Allow it to be real. Celebrate. Savor. Life is full of miracles and this is our miracle baby. If anyone out there ever clicks on this blog-I promise to start writing more. Especially those of you that have been on your own miscarriage -pregnancy journeys. I know how reading someones words that has btdt can really help! More to come. Off to bed!