Busy

Life has been so busy. At some point I hope it slows down just a tiny bit so I can just catch up with it all. El is in Kinder now and this has been such a big life change for all of us. She is slowly adjusting, but with lot's of tears along the way. Ev started Preschool today. He is happy as a clam and would go everyday if he could. My baby love is crawling and getting into everything. What is it that makes babies gravitate towards fireplaces, wires and outlets? I still can't wrap my head around the fact that he is here! At night when I walk down the hall and check three bedrooms on my three sleeping children, it still takes my breath away. How blessed I am and what a journey it has been.

Baby Love...

Jayce turns 5 months old tomorrow.  The fastest 5 months of my life.  I am so thankful that this time around I have this amazing appreciation for the gift that is my baby.  I am able to savor and enjoy each moment on a level I have never known.  I feel so connected to him and fall deeper and love with each passing day.  He is my miracle! 

It's as if I have known you all my life...

January 12th, 2009 @ 12:11pm-our miracle was born! Jayce is 6lbs 80z's of perfection!

I can't explain the feeling very well, except to say that it feels as if I have known him all my life. There is something sooo familiar about him, so peaceful and natural. I think I have memorized every little crease in his skin. I am able to drink in every single moment of him being here, we have waited soo soo soo long for him! The journey has made the destination more amazing than I have ever experienced! AT LAST...peace floods my heart and I feel complete!!!

33wks and 3 to go!

I just can't believe I am already 33wks pregnant. In fact, I still can't quite believe I am pregnant at all. My heart and mind are still working overtime to protect me. I have almost been in total denial this pregnany that I am actually having a baby. It just shows you how devestating loss can be.

I have complete placenta previa. I was in the hospital for a few days due to bleeding and ptl. I am home now on bedrest. Let's just say bedrest is near impossible when you have a 4 1/2 yr old and a 2 1/2yr old. I have had sitter here daily but still still find myself doing things I am not supposed to be doing. We have scheduled my c-section for January 12th. Hopefully I can stay out of the hospital until then!

Kids are super excited for Christmas tomorow, and soooo am I. I get more excited now then I did as a child I think. There is just nothing better in the world than watching the pure joy on their faces. I can't wait for them to open all their presents :)

Happy Holidays to anyone that stumbles on this blog. Have a safe and healthy New Year!!!

24wks pregnant

I have been avoiding my own blog. Isn't that strange? I keep thinking that if I write the words, it will all be taken away again. I need to let go of all my silly superstitions, and just share this journey. Allow it to be real. Celebrate. Savor. Life is full of miracles and this is our miracle baby. If anyone out there ever clicks on this blog-I promise to start writing more. Especially those of you that have been on your own miscarriage -pregnancy journeys. I know how reading someones words that has btdt can really help! More to come. Off to bed!

March-April-May-June-July...

It has been soooo long since I posted. I am doing well friends, but not on the computer much these days. We have had some busy months filled with fun! Ella had her 4th B-day party at the end of March. A Princess Party-per her request. We kept it small, with a few friends from School, and one from dance class. She wanted them all to dress up like Princesses and oh were they precious. Here are some pics:

Just a few days later we got to celebrate Greg's 34th B-day. Gotta love having two cakes in the house so close together-ha ha!

Notice the candles-one is from Ella's 3rd B-day and the other is from Ella's 4th-sorry Greg

Onto the next big event. Daddy Princess Dance Night at our Country Club. It is a dinner and dance just for Dad's(Step-Dads, Grandpa's-etc) and daughter's. Ella was so excited to get dressed up and have a special night just for her and Daddy. They had a wonderful time together.

Spring rolled on in and it felt so good to get outside and be warmed by the sun:

Ella's PreSchool had a special Mother's Day brunch. Ella gave me a plate she made and a potted plant. She painted the pot and planted the plant-so cute. We ate breakfast with the kids and then they sang some songs. She sang her little heart out and nailed each hand movement-I was so proud. Walking in-Ella is wearing navy blue.


Okay...so I didn't quite make it all the way through Mayand none of June and July...more to come. Kids are awake from naps now!

Not much to say today...

I will write blog entries in my head, but they really never make it here. Time is just so darn limited when you have two little one's under foot. When they nap, I try to get all my "stuff" done. Over all I am doing well. I have had my very HIGH ups and very LOW downs lately. No rhyme or reason to it. I was actually shocked how down I felt on Mother's Day. I should of been-would have been-8 months pregnant to the day. The empty feeling just never really goes away. Being a Mother is the greatest joy of my life. I haven't given up hope that God will bless us with another child. I am starting to also give my heart permission to just be okay either way.


I had a wonderful little get-a-way vacation with Tracie. It was so nice to be able to concentrate on ME for a few days. Tracie is the best person to travel with. No agenda and just go with the flow. We slept in, ate, drank, relaxed by the pool, and shopped. Really, what more could a girl want?


Closing out with some pics:

Tracie and Brooke-Scottsdale, Arizona




The kiddo's: